The Writing Process

How do I write? What is my process?

My answer? I don't have one.

Some suggest using voice-to-type. I'm sure that serves a purpose, but it’s not for me. Talking slows my internal voice to finger connection.

I have to fall into the piece thumb first. Even now, I'm thumbing away on my notes app. I'm sure I'll clean it up later. Maybe not.

When I write, I typically know the beginning, middle, and end; I've already lived them. I just have to work out everything in between. I don't prewrite. I don't outline. I just go. There is no pause. There is no block. It’s release release release until I’m done.

After, I can revise the order, pacing, and give or take away. If I feel it. I might not. I’m an English teacher. I teach the rules and break them when they suck.

I think about prose and speaking always and forever. My mind doesn’t stop. Who needs speed when you have this mind?

I used to have a speech impediment, and one strategy I learned was to rehearse what I wanted to say before I said it. With that, my stuttering nearly disappeared. It still comes up under stress or extreme provocation, but my mind is on autopilot already rehearsing what I will say.

When I'm in my car, I'm playing through potential scenarios and what I might need to say. Forget Spotify, I'm live-streaming my thoughts.

It takes me ten minutes or less to write. I've already experienced, remembered, likely gotten counseling, had an existential crisis, and had an internal conversation on the topic I’m writing about.

My thumb and phone are just my method of getting those ideas and words out onto paper or screen. My fingers and thumb are painting the image in my mind through words combined.

It really is a confession. Much of this shit I've never talked about, or I only talked of it in passing; this is a full confession. Forgive me.

People often feel guilty before a confession and better after. Maybe that's why I'm so quick to write.

I want to feel better.