Solo Sexting Part 1

A Panty Story

Advisory: The following contains distressing emotional and sexual content. Be aware before you read. If these topics might upset you, then don’t go further.

Method

Cut to last spring. It was a Saturday afternoon. My daughter went down for a nap.

I used to surprise my wife. Grab her from behind. From the front. Manhandle her. Make her wet before I even touched her.

That hasn’t been the case for years.

She told me she was going to take a nap.

“Want sex?” I asked.

She smirked and laughed.

“I understand. It was a long week,” I said.

She said it wasn’t that, it just caught her off guard. “Why don’t you try sexy moves on me anymore?” she asked.

I said I guess I forgot. I thought about saying because she mocked me grabbing her ass, pulling in her hips, having my dick out, you know, essentially showing interest in that way. She told me I took away her consent and didn’t respect her boundaries when I moved physically.

Nobody is more consent-driven than I am. I’m a rape victim. I’m a grooming and abuse survivor. The ability to say yes or no is important to me.

But nobody knows what to do with men who check those boxes.

So I quit trying to come after her. I resorted to bland questions asking if she was interested. There’s no spice or romance, but better that than taking away a person’s agency. Better that than someone later claiming they didn’t want it.

Like most times, this attempt ended in failure. I got her there. She made sure I knew what she needed. I held on. But I couldn’t keep my end up after. She said no man left behind. I said really, it’s cool.

“No. It’s my job to get you,” she said. She looked almost sad.

“It’s fine. I’m sure it’s been the other way around countless times,” I replied. I knew it hadn’t. So did she.

“Just let me try,” she pleaded. I was ready for her to go to sleep.

“I’m out. I can’t,” I said. “But it’s fine. I was starting to get hot and sweaty, and I don’t want to have to change the sheets again.” Changing the sheets is an awful chore. There are so many small linens that get stuck to each other. Then they have to get to the washer, dryer, and back to the bed before sleep.

“I can help with the sheets,” she offered. She always offers, but she never acts. If she does more, she gets in the way of my getting the sheets back on the bed. She’s small and can’t reach her arms across the bed with the fitted sheets.

“It’s cool. Please. Get some rest,” I replied. She was out.

I took a look at my phone. I wondered which of my friends would be able to tuck in a fitted sheet. Then maybe I would enjoy myself.

Hypothesis

Then I had an interesting idea.

Nearly all of my friends are women.

If I texted nicely, how many would respond with a picture of their panties? I then looked at Lara. I bet hers are green. Modest but not too modest. I looked at Charley. Oh, she’s an interesting one. It was either white granny panties or some lacy black thong.

In case you are wondering, I’m not a fetish guy like this. I just wondered what color underwear my friends wore. I wanted to guess the make and model of the design.

Is it really much different than asking what make, model, and trim of the car they drive?

Don’t call me deviant. This was for consumer guidance. Ergonomic feel. Breathability of fabric. I could start a handle on the Instatalk to let women know what they should get. If I knew how to use Instatalk. I’m looking out for my sisters. You’re welcome.

But really, I wondered what they would say. Would Alice text back angrily? Would Diana text back LOL? Would Rachel start a group thread to help with a recovery? Would Marianne send her husband to kick my ass?

Am I even a threat? Am I actually desired? Am I a simp? Am I neutered already?

Now I had to know. I looked over at my wife. I heard the snorts of her snore and the heavy exhales.

I’ve studied my grad and undergrad in fields of almost entirely women. I was never treated gay. I wasn’t even treated weirdly. It was better than tolerated. But I only existed. I was a 15-year high school teacher. The stories there were similar, with the exception of teacher parties with outside factors included, but that’s for a different story.

Was I neutered? Was I tolerated? Was I existing? I had to find out.

Social Experiment

I started with a long time friend, Jenny. We went to grad school and used to kick it before she was married. I think she was two or three years older than me. Hey Jenny. I was wondering if you could do me a solid. No worries if you can’t. Would you mind sending me a pic of one of your panties? Preferably a clean pair. I don’t want to make it weird. Thanks.

That was easy. I wondered if I should move on. Then the bubbling began. That didn’t take long.

HAHHAHAHAH D! You are fucking hysterical. Thanks so much I needed this.

Fair enough. On to the next one. Brooke. She was a Social Studies teacher. You know how they do. Wait. Let me check her socials. Ok. Two years younger. Cool. Brooke, I have a kind of weird request. Actually, maybe it’s normal? I don’t know what people actually do these days. Would you please text me a pic of your panties? Preferably clean? If not, no worries.

I was already moving on. Who was next? Laura? Yes. Laura was openly a freak. She likely wasn’t wearing anything. Math teachers, right? I think she graduated a year after I did. Laura, if it’s cool, would you please send me a pic of your panties? They don’t need to be on. They can be in a drawer. Preferably clean.

Up next. Hmmm. Valeria. Her husband, Chuck, he’s my guy. I bet if he saw the text, he would take pity and go take a pic himself. All the same age. Valeria, I hope this is cool, but would you please send me a pic of your panties? Preferably clean?

Bzzzzz. I had a response. I wonder who? Here you go, D. Brooke sent a picture of an elderly lady in granny panties. She must have gotten it from the web. She got me. I made a smiley face.

My mind then went to Andrea. She was the same year. I started to type, but I stopped. Andrea might have had a thing for me, and my wife made me cut off contact with Andrea. Andrea was pretty cool though. Sigh. Skip.

Crystal. Oh, now we’re talking. Crystal is an English teacher and proud feminist. She might feel insulted if I didn’t ask her. It was my responsibility as a male feminist to include her. She was two or three years younger. Crystal, what’s up? I wondered if you would be so kind as to send me a pic of your panties? Not on you. Preferably clean. No worries if not. Not trying to make it weird.

Bzzzzz. I opened the message. Laura was sitting on her bed. Oh, this is promising. I started from her head and worked my way down. Oh. It was a middle finger. Fair enough. Bzzzz. The fuck, D? Do you think this is funny?

Well that’s what I hoped wouldn’t happen. Hey, it’s cool. I just wanted to check. My fault.

Bzzzzzz. No, it’s not cool. You think you can just ask me for nudes? There were emojis I didn’t understand, but I think one was a sundae, a yellow face with an expression I didn’t understand, some kind of weather, and an Aspirin?

You’re right, Laura. I’m sorry. I didn’t want nudes though. I just wanted a pic of your panties. They can be from your drawer. I don’t need your body in them, like I’m not trying to make it weird. Again, sorry for making you uncomfortable.

I heard a little babble on the baby monitor. I will give the baby a little bit of time in case she falls back asleep.

Repeated Trials

Who was next? Paula. Oh. Bzzzzzz. It was Laura. Oh boy. Oh. That’s all? Sorry D, I thought you wanted more. Here. She had a pair of yellow boy cut panties. Nice choice. I shopped for something similar for my wife one time. They looked like they would reduce chafing, and I get folliculitis on my buttocks sometimes. I respect a pragmatic buy.

I respect your sense of style. The yellow matches your Honda. I didn’t want to compromise our professional relationship. I wouldn’t ask anything else. Except for maybe at a future teacher party with outside factors. Again…

Back to Paula. Paula, if it’s cool, would you please send me a pic of your panties? I prefer clean and not on you. I don’t want to be weird about it. If not, totally fine.

Bzzzzz. Crystal. This will go one of many ways. I opened the pic. It was a pic of a guy who looked angry. Who is that?

Bzzzzz. It’s Crystal again. Derek, not cool. Jimmy is ready to pay you a visit.

Who is Jimmy? I never saw him before in my life. He looked kind of like the actor who played the guy who lived in the apartment with the door.

Bzzzz. He’s my boyfriend. You met him twice. I did? When did I meet him?

Oh yeah, but he had a beard then. He’s chill. Can he come over? I have a new Denzel gangster movie I rented. I had waited to watch this movie for several weeks because I was always on dad or husband duty. Whenever I tried to put it on, my daughter or wife entered the room. They were both asleep now.

Bzzzzz. He wants to kick your ass. This isn’t a game, Derek. You should apologize to him. Jimmy? Didn’t he cry over two beers? Did I ask his opinion on a local policy about taxes?

If I am apologizing to anyone, it’s you. Not him. Do you feel like I wronged you? If yes, I will apologize to you. Fuck Jimmy.

I groaned. If someone asked this of my wife, I might be annoyed. I would never ask for an apology delivered to me, though.

I then opened to Margo. She and I worked together for five years. She might pity me. She was four or five years younger. I’m alright there. Hey, this is random, but are you alright with sending me a pic of one of your panties? I’d prefer clean and not on you. I want to respect professional boundaries. Thanks.

Bzzzzz. It was Jenny. Derek, you are so funny. I just told Tom and we are laughing hysterically. Thanks for this. We’ve had a rough week. Shit. I was doing community service. I couldn’t stop now. My friends needed me.

I looked at my wife. She was comfortably sleeping after getting some Vitamin D.

Further Trials

Courtney. She was fire. There was really something there, but then I got married. I think she was two years younger, and I didn’t give her attention until her third year teaching. Or I projected there was something there? It’s really hard to tell sometimes. I think we had a moment or two? Was I in her house one time? Where was the rest of the department? We don’t talk like we used to, but there seems to be tension in the workrooms. She teaches science. Why was I at her house if it wasn’t a department party? Hey this is weird, but would you please send me a pic of your panties? Nothing dirty. Clean. Not on you. It’s not awkward.

Bzzzzz. Crystal. Shit! What now? Derek, Jimmy is really upset. I think he’s crying. Would you please apologize to him? Was it my fault that Jimmy was spiraling? Well that’s weird. What’s up with Jimmy?

Bzzzz. I know you are a great friend, but Jimmy doesn’t know that. Please text him an apology. I don’t want another shitty Saturday with him. I’ll send you his number.

Braaaaah. Why is she doing this to me? It’s not like I never saw them before. Actually, I hadn’t. She didn’t wear them. Bahahaha!

Please. Sigh. I wore a basic grey pair yesterday with company initials on the back.

Oh. Okay, Crystal. What font were the letters? I had to make sure they complimented her handwriting and her light blue bedsheets.

Jesus, D. Arial? How boring. She deserved at least Gothic or Calibri.

Oh. Well. This got weird. Crystal and I kept it professional. We always did, but Crystal doesn’t deserve a shitty Saturday. You got it. I got a like. Dopamine is the shit on these likes, feel me?

Bzzzzzz. Courtney sent a red fishnet with a wink. Uhhhh. Exhale. Ah, the spring collection from 2024. They went 50 percent off a few months ago. Wait. Is that an ironic wink or is it more? How tall was Courtney? Would her arms be able to reach the sides of the bed with the fitted sheets? If I got too hot and sweaty with her, would it all be on me to clean up and put back? Inhale.

Bzzzz. It’s Crystal. Again. Please apologize to him. He’s in the bathroom sobbing. Why does Jimmy have to make it weird?

Hey Jimmy, it’s Derek. Sorry I asked Crystal for a pic of her panties. She’s a good friend who keeps it real. I forgot she was with you. I’m just a lonely, married guy who can’t get sleep. My mistake.

Up next: Tamara. Oh, Tamara has a sense of humor. I think we were born two months apart. She taught English at my old school. Hey, T. Would you mind sending me a pic of your panties? They don’t need to be on you, and I prefer clean. I’m not creepy.

Bzzzzz. So you forgot about me, too? It was Jimmy. How is a dude causing the most drama here? I just want to know if Crystal is red, blue, or green, and if she’s rocking 2023, 2024, or 2025? Can’t Jimmy appreciate that? The last time I saw 2017 navy in her drawer, but she never wore them, if you know what I mean. I was disappointed.

Bzzzzz. Margo. Derek, that’s incredibly offensive. I don’t know what’s going on, but this is not alright. Right. She joked sometimes, but she never went that close to the edge.

Sorry Margo. I thought you were someone else. I thought I was texting Margot. Little white lies are okay, right? I forgot Margo can be sensitive.

I really did have Margot in my contact list. I knew her from the days of the troupe. I could ask her, and then I’m not lying. Margot spoke Spanish. She defaulted to it when she was pissed at me. Or if she was too happy with me. I could practice my Spanish. I didn’t know her age. Wait. She told me she graduated. It was three years after I did.

Buenos, mami. Como estas? Yo no malo, pero, esta pregunta es varo. Me gustaria una peliculo de tu.. panties? Vestidos que en tu culo. Siento. Yo no se panties en espanol. Oh. I should have used the Ud. form for such a question. Como esta usted, mami? Yo no soy malo, pero yo quiero saber que su.. vestido en su.. culo es azul, roja, negro, bianco, o un otro? Puedo tenir un foto? No casuale. No intensionale. Muchas gracias, señora Mami.

Nailed it. I was professional and respectful in Spanish. We just used to have pet names of mami and papi. It’s normal.

Bzzzz. This was Tom. It was a pic of his whitey tighties with shit marks and laughing emojis. Well played. I had to vomit now. I made a laughing face.

My daughter coughed. I listened. She was fine.

More Variables

Julie. I don’t know her that well. We just worked together for four years. She was a quiet English teacher. She also doesn’t stir shit up. Hey, this is random, but would you mind sending me a pic of your panties? It’s for science.

Bzzzz. Why would you text Margot about her panties? Does your wife know about this? Is Margo going to snitch?

Bzzzz. Tamara. Yo D, why don’t you just subscribe to my OF? Who owns an of?

Of is a preposition. You can’t own it. D’uh.

Bzzzzz. Julie. I opened the image. Black. Shit. Breathe. In four, hold four, out four. And again. Hold on. One more time. Got it. Why couldn’t they be orange? High cut. It must be a comfortable choice. I bet that keeps her from getting wedgies and makes dresses and skirts more comfortable. Nice choice, Julie.

Bzzz. OF is Only Fans. We’ve talked about this. I showed you some videos. You know this.

Did I? I hit the questioning emojo.

Bzzz. Margot. It was a pic of a jockstrap and a middle finger and what I assume is a Spanish obscenity. Like. Well played. I responded with Si!

Carla. I never met her, but I worked for her as a 1099 tutor. She was another friend of George, and George was the man. He said she was just a few years younger than he was, and he had me by three. Carla, would you mind sending me a picture of your panties? I’m not high maintenance, but I would prefer clean.

Bzzzzz. Derek. I’m doing better now. Thanks for being cool. Crystal said you had a Denzel movie? It was Jimmy. I rolled my eyes. Do I have to watch it with him now? I’m in the middle of something now.

I’m glad we’re cool. I have the rental until next weekend? Is there a good day for you this week? I couldn’t let Crystal have a bad day. She used to make sure I didn’t.

Bzzzzz. It was Margo. Really Derek? Margo wasn’t going to let this go. Way to be a buzzkill, Margo. I bet yours are bargain rack gray that ride, cut into your skin, and are not comfortable.

Bzzzzz. Tamara sent me a link to sign up. I don’t know how to use these apps well. I ended up on the Play Store. So do I sign up with Google or an email?

Bzzzz. Paula. She pulled a dick pic from the internet and a laughing emoji. Nicely done. I hit like.

I looked at my wife. She snored more. How often has she finished and I have not?

Dependent Variable

Bzzzz. It’s Valeria now. Derek, you’re so cute. No, I’m not. I’m fucking reckless.

I texted Chuck. Hey bud, would you please take a pic of one of Valeria’s panties? Doesn’t need to be on her. Not trying to make it weird.

Bzzzzz. D. What do you think of my yellow panties? It was Laura. It’s a reasonable question. I shouldn’t leave her hanging. Math teachers get insecure, so they rely on numbers. Numbers don’t lie. I owed her my feedback.

I think they look comfortable. Do they work in all seasons? I know there are rules about fall and spring colors, but I don’t know if panties count.

Bzzzzz. Laughing face. They are good any time of year Derek. They’re underwear. Of course Laura has to make it boring. They’re not underwear; they’re panties. And what if it’s freezing out, and what if it’s over 90?

How do they hold up when you have been active all day? Do they breathe well? Do you ever wish you brought a backup? I know I often wished I did, and I had fancy REI underoos.

Bzzzz. Why do you want a pic of my wife’s panties? It was Chuck. I respect that he asked.

I just want to feel like I’m not the safe option and desirable. Shit! I just made it weird. I have to recover. How can I walk that back? I can objectify, say something crude, say something cruel, change the subject to sports, or ask about an IPA. Umm. Ok. Got it.

I mean your wife gets me hard, and I hoped you wouldn’t mind sharing a pic. I’ve known her longer than you, and I don’t make it weird. There we go. Should I pick a body part that gets me? Does he think it’s just carnal now?

Bzzzzz. It’s Carla. What the fuck? She gave me extra nice tutoring assignments. I was one of her few employees. She texted me all the time about everything. At one point, I wondered if she came off meds. I thought she might have liked me.

Bzzzz. Margo. Fuck. Are you in a good place, D? She won’t let it go. How do I neutralize her?

New phone, who dis? That’s all I could think of. I got a like in response. Was it that easy? How does one try such a comment in real life without a phone? Is it new day, who are you presenting as? Is it another moment to phony, how are you choosing? Is it a new day, a new attitude? Shit. I don’t know.

Bzzzzz. Julie. I opened the image. She was topless with her finger pointing at the camera. Oh? Me? No. She must have sent that to the wrong person. Delete. But I felt my breathing slow. Fuck! Empty trash. Done. Box breathing. Box breathing.

Fuck. I forgot to ask her to take it in her drawer. She must have misunderstood the request. She must have an iPhone. They take shitty pictures and it’s hard to keep the camera on the panty. I missed that instruction. Shit. I also didn’t say it was professional and not awkward. This was my fault.

Bzzzzz. Here you go, bud. These are just basics she wears around the house. It was Chuck sending me a pic of Valeria’s blue basics. They were Amazon brands. He’s gatekeeping the real thing. I respect that though. I bet burgundy lace, winter 2024. Oh well. At least I didn’t make it weird with him.

Thanks, Chuck. I will enjoy this later. I had a satisfying laugh. He’ll never suspect a thing and assume I’m just a deviant. He won’t really know. I hit delete. Then I took it out of the trash.

Bzzzz. Julie. Oh, she’s going to ask that I delete the pic. I haven’t forgotten the party three years ago. What is this, a 90s slasher movie? What happened three years ago? Was that the one with the… oh. I forgot. Who was with the? Oooof. But I was so… sigh. Ummm.

What party three years ago? Also, careful. The cloud might get your pix. Did teachers have parties three years ago? Which party was it? Was it one of the parties where I blacked out?

Bzzzz. It was Tamara. You know D, if I have to do this to get you to sign up, fine. It was a picture of her in a bra and panties. They were both pink. It was the Valentine’s Day special from two years ago. They were released February 1, 2023? They were a pricey pair. And she got both?

Bzzz. Will Monday night work? It was Jimmy. Sigh.

Jimmy, MNF is on Mondays. Can you please pick a different night?

T, wow, did you pay full price or did you find a promo? My coupons didn’t apply to them. They said ‘excluded from sale.’ I even called their customer service and was routed to Vietnam. The nice young lady on the phone couldn’t help me, but she also spoke French. We spent 30 minutes with her letting me practice some French phrases and gently correcting me if needed. Je t’aime lingerie. I have a friend, Phoung, who said I am welcome to stay with her the next time I’m nearby. I hope that picture is really her.

Bzzz. Tamara again. D. What are you wondering that for? Who cares how I got it. You saw me. You got a piece. I don’t give it away for free any more. Don’t think I forgot about that party before you met your wife when we had some coke but not cola, and maybe some lime. Here’s the link. You owe me at least a month’s worth. I clicked like. It was only fair. If she was an entrepreneur, I should pay the toll. I’m not a freerider. I started to sign up. Which secondary email do I use?

Bzzz. How about Thursday night? We know Thursday Night Football is ass. Jimmy made a good point.

Bzzzzzz. Courtney. Are you really going to make little old me wait? Send me your underwear, too. I guess that was fair. I had to respect my fire. She only said something when it mattered, so this must matter.

Bzzzzz. Carla. Wait, this is Derek from tutoring? My mistake. Did she know other Dereks?

I saw her text bubbles. Purple thong. Classic. She kept it up well. It was 2020? Wow. Bold choice. I wondered if that helped when her pants might be too tight or if shorts rode up.

Bzzzz. There you go. If you need anything else, I might be able to help. Aw thanks, Carla. I knew we were cool. Wait a minute. It was a screenshot from a website. Carla, well played. A lesser panty connoisseur might not have caught it, but I live off Baker Street. A like was not enough.

Jimmy, is Wednesday night or Saturday afternoon available, you know, just in case TNF is good? Sometimes they have sleepers.

Wow. You nearly got me. You forget I’m professional and miss nothing? I see the screenshot. But well played. Well played. I tried to find the emojicon of clapping. I looked and looked. I gave up and did a thumbs up. I got a laugher emoji response.

To be continued….