Wow, that was anxiety inducing! Really did a number on me! Reminded me of that Naked Lunch story by Burroughs, very good. Also a Deftones reference so double plus good :)
This is the first short story on Substack that I was able to read from start to finish without falling into a drooling stupor as my eyes roll out of my head.
This was great. You’re a natural. Also nice Deftones reference!
Whoa. This reads like a fever dream caught inside a hard drive and I mean that in the best possible way. The pacing, the static, the repetition it feels like being trapped in a malfunctioning system right alongside Paul. You nailed that disorienting blend of digital dread and moral unease. The horror doesn’t just sit in what happens it’s in how it happens, in that creeping sense that reality and consequence have blurred into code. Really sharp work here cinematic, tense, and way too easy to visualize.✨
I don't know what to say. It's so amazing to read that. I doubt my abilities and annoyingly so, and you make it so simple. I'm the one outtamydamnmind much of the time.
The novelty was William S. Burroughs. And you're welcome. I don't know why Cronenberg chose those films, but the surreal quality is definitely what echoes on your work
Agreed, when he doesn't do strictly body horror, he can be a nuanced filmmaker. Eastern Promises, and Viggo's performance, were top notch. A History of Violence was great, too
Thanks so much. I think Videodrome was Cronenberg? I've heard good things. I need to look up Naked Lunch. They sound like compliments. I appreciate it.
It’s unsettling in a quiet way.
At first, the glitches feel random, but they start lining up as the story goes on.
By the end, it’s clear the noise isn’t the problem , it’s what’s been hiding underneath all along...
Hawtorn! Good story! I wasn’t expecting the end! Pulled me right in read straight through! Nice!
Really? It's my only fiction after Machine Poet's language model suggested it.
Really. No fluff, just good story.
Is this how we save your friend in the basement. This is how you operate.
Yes. That's it.
Fascinating.
Thank you.
Wow, that was anxiety inducing! Really did a number on me! Reminded me of that Naked Lunch story by Burroughs, very good. Also a Deftones reference so double plus good :)
Thanks. I hadn't heard of these, but I need to see them now.
Ha! just read other people's comments saying the same thing. Clearly I am in good company :)
I know Cronenberg.
this was a chilling read omg
Really? I had no idea what I was doing.
This was a fun read. Does it stand alone or is it part of a series?
No idea. It was my first fiction without an idea of where I would go.
Love this!
Thanks.
This is the first short story on Substack that I was able to read from start to finish without falling into a drooling stupor as my eyes roll out of my head.
This was great. You’re a natural. Also nice Deftones reference!
Thanks for not drooling. I take this as a huge compliment. You're the first to say you noticed the Deftones. Appreciate it.
That's such a nice comment to read. No drooling eyes stupor. Mission accomplished.
A natural? Ehhh I'm reluctantly taking that compliment. I'm glad you got the Deftones. I thought the mood was just right.
'twas.
Whoa. This reads like a fever dream caught inside a hard drive and I mean that in the best possible way. The pacing, the static, the repetition it feels like being trapped in a malfunctioning system right alongside Paul. You nailed that disorienting blend of digital dread and moral unease. The horror doesn’t just sit in what happens it’s in how it happens, in that creeping sense that reality and consequence have blurred into code. Really sharp work here cinematic, tense, and way too easy to visualize.✨
I don't know what to say. It's so amazing to read that. I doubt my abilities and annoyingly so, and you make it so simple. I'm the one outtamydamnmind much of the time.
Thank you for taking it in.
Ahhhh I love the use of my name here. I think that’s the point we are all a bit outtamydamnmind. 🫂 ✨
give yourself grace your a lot more than what your giving yourself credit for 🤷🏽♀️
I'm working on the second part of the comment. One day at a time.
I love this absolutely wonderful I couldn't stop reading and the ending superb....
Thanks so much.
Great job writing it! 👏
Thank you. It was different for me, so I appreciate the kindness.
Mind bent successfully.
Great work, Hawtorn.
I think you are programmed to be kind, but I thank you for the words.
I love your story
Thanks so much.
Your welcome
Your welcome
This is great! Like some pipe dream mash-up of Videodrome and Naked Lunch. Reality blurred and you had me questioning my sanity by the end.
Oh. Naked Lunch is Robocop and Cronenberg. Cool. Thanks again.
The novelty was William S. Burroughs. And you're welcome. I don't know why Cronenberg chose those films, but the surreal quality is definitely what echoes on your work
I saw his work with Viggo Mortensen. Eastern Promises and A History of Violence were two of the greatest films in that decade, in my opinion.
Agreed, when he doesn't do strictly body horror, he can be a nuanced filmmaker. Eastern Promises, and Viggo's performance, were top notch. A History of Violence was great, too
Thanks so much. I think Videodrome was Cronenberg? I've heard good things. I need to look up Naked Lunch. They sound like compliments. I appreciate it.